I've been this person, I still am this and I probably will be this. But hey, there's always hope they say. So before you judge me or this write up to be a cheesy single woman's rant, just hear me out okay? okay.
1. We say we are available, but are we really available..?
Yes, we are out there, yes we tell everyone that we are single and how we are ready to mingle - be it on social media websites, on dating apps, at parties, all this, but when it's time to get to the grind, are we really available? Not so much. We are afraid of love happening, we are afraid of getting our hearts broken, we are afraid of the commitment and hard work it takes to make it happen and make it long lasting, therefore we shun ourselves from the most amazing thing.. love.
2. Let's admit it, it's all about the 'chase.' And once you get the girl/guy, ka-boom, it's just downhill from there.
You know how the drill goes, you meet someone new. Exchange numbers. All-day and late-night conversations. Cute name calling, texting, calling, face-timing, question-answer games, everything under the sun. Dates, hanging out, holding hands, kissing, hugging.. the list goes on UNTIL all of this becomes too familiar and you lose interest. Sweetheart becomes pain in the bloody arse. The one you couldn't wait to get come home and talk to now is a chore, all sounds too familiar doesn't it?
And then you opt to meet someone new. Exchange numbers. All-day and late-night conversations.. yadi yadi ya....all that jazz, all over again. Stop! It is a vicious cycle. You get the point right? Basically, you need to keep the chase going, it's the only way.
3. Dire need for an ideal and the inability to look beyond imperfections.
Sadly, we are so obsessed with perfection that we can't deal with the smallest of flaws. How many times have you heard someone say "He is really nice but his teeth are crooked." "She is smart and funny but she is chubby". I know this because I am no different, but I have come to realise that there is beauty in imperfections. ( although that sounds like a cheesy line from some John Green movie, it is true).
We are no longer children, we need to accept that the world is much more than her weight, how he looks. If he/she makes you feel like no body else does, there you have it! Hold on to that my friend because that's all that matters, the rest.. oh just screw the rest.
4. Is love what we really think it is?
Let's face it. Most people have grown up imagining love to be a walk in the park, a dream come true and you know the butterflies the in the stomach type. And I hate to say this, but most of us haven't been in love and don't even understand what it is. For people today, it's a game that we think we know too well.
Like every good thing in life, love it a choice, it takes effort, love takes commitment, love takes dedication. There'll be plenty of tears, there'll be of times you'll just want to rip your hair off rather than being with the other person but it's the price you need to be willing to pay for love, the real kind of love. The one that makes you feel like no one else has. Fight for it, cherish it and keep it alive. It's hard to come by.. so I've heard.
5. Giving up and messed up priorities.
Okay so you've had a bad day, may be a bad week or even a few bad months with each other? But are you really going to give up that easily? You don't throw away something special/valuable when it's broken, you bloody fix it right? Since when did we become such push-overs? The slightest flaw makes you believe that it's not worth it? Why are we too arrogant to take a step down, put the past behind and start over? Is it really that hard?
Oh let's not forget about our righteous priorities, which we talk so very high of. Look at us, how far we have "advanced". We put so much of care and effort into material things than love. Most of us would rather have an i phone, fancy clothes or a luxury house than to have someone to share it with.
My phone, my clothes, my watch, my car, my house - it is all about materialistic things, isn't it? Priorities man, priorities?
6. The 'Let's-end-this-before-it-gets-started' technique.
Okay, this is me, point blank. I met this incredible man, I was and still am so much in love but I was too very afraid. Afraid that it was too good to be real, afraid that it would end, afraid that he would leave me. And bam, my fear manifested into a reality. Before I could even let our newly found love blossom into anything, I had already imagined it ending in my mind. Man oh man have I learnt my lesson. If I could go back and re-do the way I handled myself, surely I'd still be the happiest person alive. (*blush* yes, he did make me feel like I was the happiest person alive, so f*cking cheesy, I know. But it's the truth. He was special, he was love. The real kinda love)
Okay so what I'm trying to get at is that, we as humans are afraid. Afraid to fall in love, afraid to be loved, get into a relationship, afraid to call it a relationship, afraid of what other's think.. afraid to dump, afraid to get dumped. We are very, very afraid. Good Lord, bless us!
7. The quickies, if you may.
We are living in a world where we we meet people at a rapid pace and we drop them even faster. Meet someone. A good date or two. Make out. Have sex. You have an amazing connection, but hey, anything further than the casual thing is just too much of an effort, right? Wrong! Absolutely nothing happens by chance (you can disagree, no problem. this is what I believe) Think about it, 7.3 something billion people in the world and yet you crossed path with this one person. And suddenly you feel something you've never felt before. But sadly, moments like these don't seem to last for long anymore, as soon as things get a tad ugly, you throw away everything that was good along with it.
It seems like we can't stop looking for options - for something better. We do not want to settle for less. It's the sad truth isn't it? If we only pursue the ones we love the way we pursue other successes in life, what a beautiful world this would be? Take your time with the one you love, let him/her make her mistakes, forgive them, let them grow with you, love them harder each time. The end result just might be bloody beautiful.
8. "The right time"
We don't have enough time for love and when we do, "It's not the right time." For Pete's sake, there is never going to be a right time or a right situation. You love someone, you got to protect it, you got to be willing to make time, you got to be willing to go that extra mile. You and I know, that there's never going to be a day when you're "ready for love". It just happens when you least expect it, and when it happens, don't be foolish. Give it all you got. Let go of your big fa ego. Tell her that you love her. Be the first one to ask him out. Spend time watching that movie with her, listen to him when he talks about his dreams, make time to make that call in the night. Visit each other, travel together. Get to know each other, make plans to grow together. Just do it!
Because daring, while your in the midst of everything else, love might just pass you by, and you'll be sorry. I've seen people who let go of something that was worth fighting for and the regret their eyes hold. It's something that lives on...
I can go on forever and ever, but the point I'm really trying to get to is that, take time to love. Being able to love and being loved, in this chaotic world, is a rare and yet incredibly successful and beautiful thing one can achieve.
I'm no one to talk but take a shot and give love a chance! It just might be worth it. To everyone who's thinking of rekindling lost love, go for it! Who's to say that this time it won't be everything you ever wished for?
(I suppose I'll have to admit that there's a little bit hypocrisy in the latter part of it, but hey life isn't over yet, who know's what will happen. I'll keep you posted)
I wish you well!
